[2023 fic summary]
Jan. 1st, 2024 07:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rurusayshii’m one day late but better late than never ♡
2023: Fic Year in Review
Total Word Count: 63k
Total Fics Written: 5 fics + 4 drabbles + 1 thread fic
Fandoms Written In: Stray Kids (I tried to write for Baldur’s Gate but it just stays as an unfinished wip)
Pairings Written For: Minsung / Minbin / Minchan / Changjin / Changbin & Jisung
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? If you predicted anything.
I impressed myself a lot! Truthfully, I was always engaging with writing activity in some way before I picked up writing for a fandom. My writings were for a forum based PJO role playing website, so my written works always consisted of original characters (here more detailed in case anyone is interested) But I don’t think I’ve written this much in a year?
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted at the start of the year? Did you get into a new pairing/genre/fandom?
Well, last January even writing fics were never on the list so lol
What’s your own favourite story of the year?
of buzzer beers and rock royales. This took a lot of time to write but it was a lot of fun? To me, writing is always a struggle and most of time I ask myself why I am torturing myself with something that is supposed to give me joy (it is because I am perfectionist, that’s why any creative activity is quick to become my suffering) Writing this fic was more fun than it was a struggle and as for the characters/plot wise I kind of saw it myself how Minbin’s relationship could grow even if it starts with a situation less than ideal. As much as I love Changbin being whipped, I love him being oblivious (for the right reasons this time) and equally fearing for his life. Add Minho being a disaster in flirting and with him being something between a brat and menace, I had a lot of material to work with. And I’m happy with the result.
Did you take any writing risks this year?
Aside from picking up writing fanfiction again, it starts with his heart involved some heavy themes and some graphic content (not much, most was left to reader’s imagination)
Events you participated in this year?
I have many although they are not really finished yet. The only ones I made some progress with are Minbin Bingo and Minchan Valentines Gift Exchange. The rest has their outlines written (except for MV Fest, I might drop out if I get too busy)
From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year:
of buzzer beers and rock royales. It is a roller coaster of emotions, starting from fluff/comedy to idiots in love to angst to happy ending. I think the reason why I love it so much also lies in the fact that it was supposed to be something short, less than 10k at best. But Minbin grew on me and the fic wrote itself.
My most popular story of this year:
of buzzer beers and rock royales (again) Minbin is actually not a popular ship in the fandom. Could be considered a rare pair even. But I met really nice people through these two, and they cheered on me and supported me during/after writing so I think their influence was huge too!
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
it starts with his heart - Please, who doesn’t want some angst porn to cry? I was very straightforward from the beginning about what was going to happen and I guess that dead dove do not eat tag really doesn’t help.
indigo stars - This is a 535 word gen drabble, so I’m not really surprised it stays with 23 hits lol
Most fun story to write:
Just for the variety I want to add have some pumpkin and spice because 1) I wrote it very fast as a twitter thread fic and didn’t really pay attention to the details other than focusing on the storytelling. Which lessened the time I had to go through struggle after struggle to make it to perfection. So in other words it was fun because I had no expectations. 2) The plot itself is funny since I tried to hide the fact that Jisung avoiding the cafe was actually not because he was afraid of Minho but rather he was very impressed with how Minho was punching people thus he was shy. Not scared, no.
Story that needed the most research:
Minchan Valentines Gift Exhange. Not because it needed the most research necessarily but I was trying to get a hold on what people in medieval era of Korea was eating during travelling.
Story with the single sexiest moment:
“Aren’t you happy when I welcome you like this Jisungie ?” When Jisung bit his lips to keep his voice down, Minho pressed himself closer, moving every curve of his body with flexibility the years of dancing granted him, finding every right spot as if it was his own body. The feather touch of his nails were everywhere; on his chest, on his biceps, then on his neck, thighs and the soft of his cheeks. He denied Jisung the main course, feeding him with very little, never letting him have the satisfaction of the whole taste. “Don’t I always let you take what you want?”
Minho rolled his hips against Jisung with want, with lust, with his soul. There would be a lingering mark on his wrist for several days, a reminder from an attempt to hold back his moans. It was to show him what he could offer, to make Jisung realize what he would lose with Chan. “I think about your words… When I’m alone, when you are away, when I need you with me. You have no idea what you do to me.”
— from bedtime stories
The pirate takes in the sight of his lover; the nightdancer spread over him like an offering to a god.
Minho, glistening with sweat, hair falling around his face —tousled and messy and fanned out, eyes alight and beautiful, leaning close. It’s the way his skin through a haze of reds, purples and muted yellows, the dips of his skin shadowed. It contrasts with the glow of the light over the long lines of his thighs, his hip bones, the valleys of his ribs. Each move, and skin glitters, dances, muscles draw lines, lines draw love.
It’s a haunting thing, really. Entirely enchanting. Settled over him, Minho’s ass stretched around his cock. Tight and warm as he pulls in Jisung like he belongs there.
— from it starts with his heart
Story with the single cutest/sweetest moment:
“What is it?” Minho eventually wonders, slightly standoffish and amused. A flushed tint of pink blends in with the streaming artificial daylight, casting soft shadows off his face.
“You are nice to look at.” His voice is smug, because Minho gets even redder. The loveliest, he thinks. The loveliest shades of reds, he carries with.
“Don’t stop,” respsonses Minho, with a slight challenge. “But I might just doll up a little bit to give you a heart attack next time.”
“That’s how you plan to kill me?”
“Why not? Then I will get another red diamond. A memento of Seo Changbin. Cause of death, his heart was weak for Lee Minho.”
Minho looks so invested, so happy. Changbin indulges him further. “Gonna wear me to the higher ups events and show off how beautiful we look together?”
“Of course,” Minho answers. “They will be jealous because no one can be as beautiful as you, Changbin-ah.”
Ah. That’s only fair. Probably. But his heart, yeah, his heart is weak . Minho was right.
And Minho is not letting it go. “My beautiful Binnie-ah,” he says. “I prefer you alive though. You are more beautiful this way. More to love, in your words.”
— from of buzzer beers and rock royales
Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:
The endings of it starts with his heart. Well, it’s MCD but I killed them twice, kind of.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
The Minchan fic. I’ve never scrapped this many scenes for another fic. It was difficult to articulate how Minho was going through his new life + Chan’s return. First I thought he would be angry, along with everything that happened to him. But then I realized he would rather adjust himself than stay angry for the rest of his life. Sure he resents what he was left with, and sure there is an amount of frustration still there but it wasn’t eating him to the point where it was everything. He chose to find his path after all. (Some spoilers because I love spoiling: something happens and he is left without what he built his life on. This is however not related to Chan, but Minho leaving everything behind after the something includes Chan.)
Hardest story to write:
it starts with his life. Took so much time. Draining physically and mentally. But it was also eye opening for me that maybe I’m not that fond of writing sadness to this amount. This is not to say I don’t like it, because I do love the end result. Just the process was difficult.
Biggest disappointment:
bedtime stories. I’m not made for chaptered fics, hence it remains unfinished. There is also another thread fic on twitter, something worth fighting for, which is also not finished.
Biggest surprise:
have some pumpkin and spice because I never expected it to get the amount of hits it has right now. Aside from the drabbles, it is the fic I gave the least dedication and wrote it in approximately 2-3 hours?
Most unintentionally telling story:
seeds and indigo stars. They are short (both less than 600 words) but also tell a lot
Favourite Opening Lines:
“He had lived for 1.419.120.537 beats,” says Changbin while checking Ahn Sanghun’s death certificate. It is on another screen, transparent with purple neon writings.
“Long enough,” his client answers.
Changbin eyes him carefully. Then the guy three steps behind him. The typical lifespan for a man is twice as long, but he keeps that thought to himself.
— from of buzzer beers and rock royales
Favourite Closing Lines:
And the nightdancer lets him cry. He can’t stroke his hair, can’t kiss his tears away, but can let him cry.
It starts with his heart.
And it ends with his heart.
— from it starts with his heart
Favourite lines from anywhere:
Changbin is sentimental, a pure chaos of emotion, and carries his heart on his sleeve. “I want to make a promise to you,” he declares, like it is unfathomable to be stingy with his devotion.
Minho straightens up, licking his lips where Changbin already touched. His throat moves, a nervous swallow, then, “Don’t,” he says, voice low and pleading. “Don’t say that.”
“Minho—“
“I lied,” Minho interrupts and the worry, the kind that pierces right through the heart, finds Changbin. “He didn’t promise me anything because I didn’t know how to handle any.”
— from of buzzer beers and rock royales
He feels a whisper brushing his ear first, and a faint touch of lips. “I love you Han Jisung,” the voice says. “I love you so much. Don’t you forget that.”
An abrupt, inexplicable wave of dread washes over him.
And then, there is a sound. Loud. Pulses with red, pulses with terror. Dripping in his sides, between in his hands is the answer, is the horror of his worst nightmares. Minho’s hands, over his, covering his gun.
His gun.
Aimed at his heart.
— from it starts with his heart
“hyung, you scared another customer.”
“i know.”
“and he was your type too.”
“i know kim seungmin!”
“what if we go bankrupt hyung?”
“we won’t.”
“should i start looking for a new job?”
“yes, you should if you keep going like this!”
— from have some pumpkin and spice bonus part
Looking back at 2023 (and before):
I picked up writing fics in September 2023 and I can’t help but feel like maybe I should have done this before? Because just recently I've stumbled upon half-written fics dating back three or four years. Through this digging I found quick ideas jotted down in my notes app. I remember how cherished they were to me. When I put my head on my pillow those AUs were where my thoughts were at. I made playlists for them. I made pinterest boards for them. But that was all, I let them stay as WIPs for years.
Guess one particular reason was that I wasn’t feeling confident writing in a language that wasn’t t my native. And looking back to all those sentences I’ve put together, they weren’t as bad as I thought, but they weren’t as good either. Compared to now, I can see a clear improvement which makes me quite proud.
But just… Was it really necessary to distance myself with writing fanfiction? I was always writing as mentioned above, but that was done in a very closed community where we were like 30 people at most. And I never felt appreciated enough, which sucks I know. Writing is personal, and I’m not going to scream “LISTEN. YOU WILL READ THIS.” I don’t know how to explain it very well, but I remember my best friend (who is not part of that community) telling me why am I doing it if I only get to be sad at the end of the day. She was right, I guess, because I no longer feel miserable after I post something. Sure my stats are not good yet I’m happy! I have more creative freedom, and I am more productive although writing is still a struggle but it is ok. Just maybe I should have never left writing for a fandom.
Fic-writing goals for 2024:
The most important one is that I want to be able to not try for perfection. It is useless and ends up with me never satisfied. I should rather aim for having fun during the process of writing.
Reading more books! It is embarrassing to admit that I read so little this year. (not including ao3 fics because then I guess I read a lot)
Engaging with my fandom. I suck at keeping up with social media and discord. Discussing your ideas with the others and hearing their own WIPs or headcanons etc are very encouraging.
2023: Fic Year in Review
Total Word Count: 63k
Total Fics Written: 5 fics + 4 drabbles + 1 thread fic
Fandoms Written In: Stray Kids (I tried to write for Baldur’s Gate but it just stays as an unfinished wip)
Pairings Written For: Minsung / Minbin / Minchan / Changjin / Changbin & Jisung
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? If you predicted anything.
I impressed myself a lot! Truthfully, I was always engaging with writing activity in some way before I picked up writing for a fandom. My writings were for a forum based PJO role playing website, so my written works always consisted of original characters (here more detailed in case anyone is interested) But I don’t think I’ve written this much in a year?
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted at the start of the year? Did you get into a new pairing/genre/fandom?
Well, last January even writing fics were never on the list so lol
What’s your own favourite story of the year?
of buzzer beers and rock royales. This took a lot of time to write but it was a lot of fun? To me, writing is always a struggle and most of time I ask myself why I am torturing myself with something that is supposed to give me joy (it is because I am perfectionist, that’s why any creative activity is quick to become my suffering) Writing this fic was more fun than it was a struggle and as for the characters/plot wise I kind of saw it myself how Minbin’s relationship could grow even if it starts with a situation less than ideal. As much as I love Changbin being whipped, I love him being oblivious (for the right reasons this time) and equally fearing for his life. Add Minho being a disaster in flirting and with him being something between a brat and menace, I had a lot of material to work with. And I’m happy with the result.
Did you take any writing risks this year?
Aside from picking up writing fanfiction again, it starts with his heart involved some heavy themes and some graphic content (not much, most was left to reader’s imagination)
Events you participated in this year?
I have many although they are not really finished yet. The only ones I made some progress with are Minbin Bingo and Minchan Valentines Gift Exchange. The rest has their outlines written (except for MV Fest, I might drop out if I get too busy)
From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year:
of buzzer beers and rock royales. It is a roller coaster of emotions, starting from fluff/comedy to idiots in love to angst to happy ending. I think the reason why I love it so much also lies in the fact that it was supposed to be something short, less than 10k at best. But Minbin grew on me and the fic wrote itself.
My most popular story of this year:
of buzzer beers and rock royales (again) Minbin is actually not a popular ship in the fandom. Could be considered a rare pair even. But I met really nice people through these two, and they cheered on me and supported me during/after writing so I think their influence was huge too!
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
it starts with his heart - Please, who doesn’t want some angst porn to cry? I was very straightforward from the beginning about what was going to happen and I guess that dead dove do not eat tag really doesn’t help.
indigo stars - This is a 535 word gen drabble, so I’m not really surprised it stays with 23 hits lol
Most fun story to write:
Just for the variety I want to add have some pumpkin and spice because 1) I wrote it very fast as a twitter thread fic and didn’t really pay attention to the details other than focusing on the storytelling. Which lessened the time I had to go through struggle after struggle to make it to perfection. So in other words it was fun because I had no expectations. 2) The plot itself is funny since I tried to hide the fact that Jisung avoiding the cafe was actually not because he was afraid of Minho but rather he was very impressed with how Minho was punching people thus he was shy. Not scared, no.
Story that needed the most research:
Minchan Valentines Gift Exhange. Not because it needed the most research necessarily but I was trying to get a hold on what people in medieval era of Korea was eating during travelling.
Story with the single sexiest moment:
“Aren’t you happy when I welcome you like this Jisungie ?” When Jisung bit his lips to keep his voice down, Minho pressed himself closer, moving every curve of his body with flexibility the years of dancing granted him, finding every right spot as if it was his own body. The feather touch of his nails were everywhere; on his chest, on his biceps, then on his neck, thighs and the soft of his cheeks. He denied Jisung the main course, feeding him with very little, never letting him have the satisfaction of the whole taste. “Don’t I always let you take what you want?”
Minho rolled his hips against Jisung with want, with lust, with his soul. There would be a lingering mark on his wrist for several days, a reminder from an attempt to hold back his moans. It was to show him what he could offer, to make Jisung realize what he would lose with Chan. “I think about your words… When I’m alone, when you are away, when I need you with me. You have no idea what you do to me.”
— from bedtime stories
The pirate takes in the sight of his lover; the nightdancer spread over him like an offering to a god.
Minho, glistening with sweat, hair falling around his face —tousled and messy and fanned out, eyes alight and beautiful, leaning close. It’s the way his skin through a haze of reds, purples and muted yellows, the dips of his skin shadowed. It contrasts with the glow of the light over the long lines of his thighs, his hip bones, the valleys of his ribs. Each move, and skin glitters, dances, muscles draw lines, lines draw love.
It’s a haunting thing, really. Entirely enchanting. Settled over him, Minho’s ass stretched around his cock. Tight and warm as he pulls in Jisung like he belongs there.
— from it starts with his heart
Story with the single cutest/sweetest moment:
“What is it?” Minho eventually wonders, slightly standoffish and amused. A flushed tint of pink blends in with the streaming artificial daylight, casting soft shadows off his face.
“You are nice to look at.” His voice is smug, because Minho gets even redder. The loveliest, he thinks. The loveliest shades of reds, he carries with.
“Don’t stop,” respsonses Minho, with a slight challenge. “But I might just doll up a little bit to give you a heart attack next time.”
“That’s how you plan to kill me?”
“Why not? Then I will get another red diamond. A memento of Seo Changbin. Cause of death, his heart was weak for Lee Minho.”
Minho looks so invested, so happy. Changbin indulges him further. “Gonna wear me to the higher ups events and show off how beautiful we look together?”
“Of course,” Minho answers. “They will be jealous because no one can be as beautiful as you, Changbin-ah.”
Ah. That’s only fair. Probably. But his heart, yeah, his heart is weak . Minho was right.
And Minho is not letting it go. “My beautiful Binnie-ah,” he says. “I prefer you alive though. You are more beautiful this way. More to love, in your words.”
— from of buzzer beers and rock royales
Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story:
The endings of it starts with his heart. Well, it’s MCD but I killed them twice, kind of.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters:
The Minchan fic. I’ve never scrapped this many scenes for another fic. It was difficult to articulate how Minho was going through his new life + Chan’s return. First I thought he would be angry, along with everything that happened to him. But then I realized he would rather adjust himself than stay angry for the rest of his life. Sure he resents what he was left with, and sure there is an amount of frustration still there but it wasn’t eating him to the point where it was everything. He chose to find his path after all. (Some spoilers because I love spoiling: something happens and he is left without what he built his life on. This is however not related to Chan, but Minho leaving everything behind after the something includes Chan.)
Hardest story to write:
it starts with his life. Took so much time. Draining physically and mentally. But it was also eye opening for me that maybe I’m not that fond of writing sadness to this amount. This is not to say I don’t like it, because I do love the end result. Just the process was difficult.
Biggest disappointment:
bedtime stories. I’m not made for chaptered fics, hence it remains unfinished. There is also another thread fic on twitter, something worth fighting for, which is also not finished.
Biggest surprise:
have some pumpkin and spice because I never expected it to get the amount of hits it has right now. Aside from the drabbles, it is the fic I gave the least dedication and wrote it in approximately 2-3 hours?
Most unintentionally telling story:
seeds and indigo stars. They are short (both less than 600 words) but also tell a lot
Favourite Opening Lines:
“He had lived for 1.419.120.537 beats,” says Changbin while checking Ahn Sanghun’s death certificate. It is on another screen, transparent with purple neon writings.
“Long enough,” his client answers.
Changbin eyes him carefully. Then the guy three steps behind him. The typical lifespan for a man is twice as long, but he keeps that thought to himself.
— from of buzzer beers and rock royales
Favourite Closing Lines:
And the nightdancer lets him cry. He can’t stroke his hair, can’t kiss his tears away, but can let him cry.
It starts with his heart.
And it ends with his heart.
— from it starts with his heart
Favourite lines from anywhere:
Changbin is sentimental, a pure chaos of emotion, and carries his heart on his sleeve. “I want to make a promise to you,” he declares, like it is unfathomable to be stingy with his devotion.
Minho straightens up, licking his lips where Changbin already touched. His throat moves, a nervous swallow, then, “Don’t,” he says, voice low and pleading. “Don’t say that.”
“Minho—“
“I lied,” Minho interrupts and the worry, the kind that pierces right through the heart, finds Changbin. “He didn’t promise me anything because I didn’t know how to handle any.”
— from of buzzer beers and rock royales
He feels a whisper brushing his ear first, and a faint touch of lips. “I love you Han Jisung,” the voice says. “I love you so much. Don’t you forget that.”
An abrupt, inexplicable wave of dread washes over him.
And then, there is a sound. Loud. Pulses with red, pulses with terror. Dripping in his sides, between in his hands is the answer, is the horror of his worst nightmares. Minho’s hands, over his, covering his gun.
His gun.
Aimed at his heart.
— from it starts with his heart
“hyung, you scared another customer.”
“i know.”
“and he was your type too.”
“i know kim seungmin!”
“what if we go bankrupt hyung?”
“we won’t.”
“should i start looking for a new job?”
“yes, you should if you keep going like this!”
— from have some pumpkin and spice bonus part
Looking back at 2023 (and before):
I picked up writing fics in September 2023 and I can’t help but feel like maybe I should have done this before? Because just recently I've stumbled upon half-written fics dating back three or four years. Through this digging I found quick ideas jotted down in my notes app. I remember how cherished they were to me. When I put my head on my pillow those AUs were where my thoughts were at. I made playlists for them. I made pinterest boards for them. But that was all, I let them stay as WIPs for years.
Guess one particular reason was that I wasn’t feeling confident writing in a language that wasn’t t my native. And looking back to all those sentences I’ve put together, they weren’t as bad as I thought, but they weren’t as good either. Compared to now, I can see a clear improvement which makes me quite proud.
But just… Was it really necessary to distance myself with writing fanfiction? I was always writing as mentioned above, but that was done in a very closed community where we were like 30 people at most. And I never felt appreciated enough, which sucks I know. Writing is personal, and I’m not going to scream “LISTEN. YOU WILL READ THIS.” I don’t know how to explain it very well, but I remember my best friend (who is not part of that community) telling me why am I doing it if I only get to be sad at the end of the day. She was right, I guess, because I no longer feel miserable after I post something. Sure my stats are not good yet I’m happy! I have more creative freedom, and I am more productive although writing is still a struggle but it is ok. Just maybe I should have never left writing for a fandom.
Fic-writing goals for 2024:
The most important one is that I want to be able to not try for perfection. It is useless and ends up with me never satisfied. I should rather aim for having fun during the process of writing.
Reading more books! It is embarrassing to admit that I read so little this year. (not including ao3 fics because then I guess I read a lot)
Engaging with my fandom. I suck at keeping up with social media and discord. Discussing your ideas with the others and hearing their own WIPs or headcanons etc are very encouraging.
- Using less words to tell more. This is not to push a rule on myself but rather to be able craft more meaningful sentences and maybe to keep things simpler.
- Pushing myself out of my comfort zone with fic tropes. Read: being experimental.
- Keeping my outlines more organized.
- Getting better at dialogue and maybe learning to tell with dialogue?
- Maybe writing an interactive adventure? There is this otome game idea I have for skz but it is a lot of work, so………..
- Writing for a ship that doesn’t include Minho?
- Instead of notion and notes app, using an actual notebook to keep my notes/ideas organized for fics. I honestly don’t know what went wrong last year because I am a use-a-notebook-to-take-notes person and a very picky one when it comes to it.